Self-Restraint
MFA Thesis Project
San Jose State University
2022
For this project I created a series of large scale photographic self-portraits displayed in custom crocheted yarn frames. Each self-portrait, shot on traditional color film, features myself adorning unique crocheted yarn wearable pieces which I designed and constructed by hand. Rather than displaying soft and cozy wearables associated with crochet, such as warm hats and scarves, my pieces resemble restrictive bondage gear. The purpose of this is to subvert the stereotype of fiber processes being negatively associated with domesticity, softness, and ‘women’s work’. This work also represents my own struggle with depression and social anxiety. Having grown up in a conservative Christian small town in East Tennessee, my alternative gender and sexual identity caused me to be alienated from the community since adolescence. Because of this, I additionally seek to destigmatize alternative expressions of sexuality such as BDSM. As a non-binary person who is exploring my own sexuality through BDSM, Self-Restraint serves to uniquely reveal my identity without shame or fear of societal restrictions.
Installation view at San Jose Institute of Contemporary Art (May 2022)
Who’s in control now?
An experimental art installation complimentary to my thesis project Self-Restraint. Viewers are instructed to enter the gallery on hands and knees as artwork is best viewed in a kneeling position. Within the gallery is a large scale black crocheted chain stitch canopy which prevents normal walking though the space. The artwork is displayed unusually at kneeling-eye height. For the works displayed, two small photographic triptychs and two crocheted bondage items are featured.
For this interactive experience, viewers may choose to obey and crawl or disobey and stand up. They may also choose to simply not engage at all. The images however are too small to be viewed from the hallway and too low to be viewed standing up. Therefore, to gain the optimum viewing privilege the viewer must submit, bringing themselves low to the ground. Being now able to see clearly the photographs, the viewer is rewarded by the images themself.
The artist depicted in the imagery is both executing and withdrawing power. They are in control when the viewer submits and kneels to the ground before them. Simultaneously, the artist dually exists as a submissive. Being a mere photographic object, they are fully vulnerable in realm of the viewer's eye. Consequently, the artist and viewer share a complex and unique visual power dynamic. Who's in control now?
